Tolkien’s undiscovered previously discovered laundry list with new annotations

A laundry list “from the darker side of JRR Tolkien’s washing basket,” which hints at an early version of the orc clothing that Sam and Frodo wore on the last stage of their journey in The Lord of the Rings, is due to be published for the first time in more than 70 days this November.

The Professor, possibly describing a sock he once washed.

The Professor, possibly describing a sock he once washed.

Tolkien’s laundry list, which is of no interest to anyone in their right mind, is a lengthy list of laundry items, possibly written in a novel form of alliterative verse in which each word is given its own distinct line on the page. It has previously been published in 29 different editions but has been out of print for the last week.

HarpyCollumnns, which will publish the laundry list along with Tolkien’s other writings about his collection of Cardigans on 3 November, called it “an important non Middle-earth work to set alongside his various shopping lists.”

But the laundry list has generated controversy among scholars, some of whom claim that it was in fact written by Tolkien’s wife, Edith. The consensus among Tolkieniests, however, is that, contrary to first, second, and third impressions, Tolkien wrote marvellous female characters and therefore must have written the laundry list.

The eagerly anticipated new volume includes a 55 page introduction and 324 pages of annotated commentary. The original laundry list is half a page.

A spokesperson for HarpyCollumnns said: “Tolkien fought in the Great War and this is another reason to buy a hardback collector’s edition of our new publication.”

6 thoughts on “Tolkien’s undiscovered previously discovered laundry list with new annotations

  1. tom hillman

    Had you not tipped your hand in the title, I might have choked on my supper. Thank you, Simon.

  2. Troelsfo

    Heh 🙂

    I am not entirely sure of the target of the … is ‘sarcasm’ too strong a word for this in English? (The Danish sarkasme would be perfectly appropriate, but I’ve noticed that there are some differences in our usage, and I am not entirely sure that I understand them fully).

    Is it the sometimes horribly poor articles that have been written about the latest republication; the attempts by the HarperCollins marketing team to tie just about everything Tolkien ever wrote to his legendarium in order, presumably, to boost sales (I suppose one could argue that this is to some extent not entirely false, but then it is in a very general, and vague, sense); or the fact of the publication at all?

    1. simon Post author

      Hi Troels,

      I wrote it after a friend sent me a link to a newspaper article about the forthcoming volume and the newspaper article was such drivel that I was driven to parody.

      I’m quite looking forward to reading the new book.

      1. tom hillman

        That would be the book containing the laundry list you’re looking forward to, right?

        1. simon Post author

          well yes, of course. although to be really honest, what i’m looking forward to most is the review of the laundry list book in Mythlore.

          1. Troelsfo

            Then perhaps you’ll do a review for Amon Hen of the Mythlore review of The Laundry List of Ronald and Edith …?

            Then I can do a review of your review of the review of the laundry list book for my blog … what goes round comes round 😀

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